Monday, November 18, 2013

Buying a house!

Holy Moly!
Were buying a house!
We decided that before we start the official adoption process we NEED to get out of our apartment!
& Praise the Lord we FINALLY got pre-approved for a decent amount for a home!
Up until a few months ago our combined credit just were quite good enough to get a mortgage loan.
We are going tonight to look at a house that from the outside we LOVE!
Now we are just praying that we don't make any rash decisions, but we know that God will guide us to right where he wants us!
Cant wait to update on this area!
and I cant wait to find a new home for the future LITTLE HALL!!:)

Friday, November 8, 2013

Meeting with an adoption consultant

So yesterday Jake and I had a phone conference with an adoption consultant from Christan Adoption Consultants.

Let me first give you a little back story of how I learned about CAC. I was sitting in Starbucks with one of my  best friends (we frequent there some...ok a lot) and I was kind of going over with her what we had learned about the adoption process so far. While I'm talking I notice this man that keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I'm thinking  " WHY is that man looking at us, weirdo" LOL
  After a few minutes he comes over and begins to tell me that he couldn't help but overhear us talking and he works for CAC! He tells me kind of what they do, gave me his email and the website name. My friend looks at me and goes "Oh My Goodness. Did you just hear God there or what?!"
How awesome it is that God is already looking after so early on in this process!

Anyway, back to the meeting.

Here is basically what CAC does:

- They are NOT an adoption agency.
- Basically for a fee they walk you through the whole adoption process from beginning to end. Whether that's 6 months or 2 years.
- Their clients are usually matched with a family in 6-10 MONTHS (<- holy moly!)
- They way they are able to do this is that they work through a multi agency system. Basically they give your info to several adoption agencies over the country so you have a bigger "pool" of birth moms.

She was able to answer several questions for us and was so incredibly sweet.
This particular consultant does not have adoption children of her own, however she has worked as a birth mom counselor for 12 years, she does local Home Studies, and she is an adoptive parent lactation consultant (which is awesome! Did you know you can breastfeed and adopted child!!!??)

The meeting was great and we got lots of good information. Now we just have some decisions to make!

Whats Next: Jake and I need to spend some time in prayer, praying that God would give us wisdom is choosing what way he would wish for us to go from here. Adoption through an agency or private adoption.


For those of you who don't know the difference, Ill lay it out a bit:

Agency adoption:
In an agency adoption you work with one particular agency who has a limited "pool" of birth moms.  The agency does your home study with their specialists, after that they help you create a profile and they start getting your info out to prospective birth moms. Once you are matched with a BM, you meet her, and start to build a relationship with her. If she chooses you to parent her baby, the waiting game starts. From here you are simply waiting for baby to come. Once baby is born you travel to the birth state, The BM signs paperwork upon discharge from the hospital (usually 24-48 hours depending on delivery type) and then the BM can change her mind in a time frame of 1-30 days after birth depending on the state laws. Once that period of time is up and baby is yours, you have to go through legal paperwork and several post placement visits from your home study specialist.

Private adoption:
The actual adoption process runs just the same as agency adoption. The only difference is that you aren't working with an agency, you are responsible for all your paperwork on your own. You have to market yourself, get the word out to as many people as you can in hopes of finding your own birth mom. Once you find a birth mom everything pretty much runs the same. (If we decided to go this route we will most likely be working with a counselor simply because we want to make sure everything is done correctly and they would guide us through paperwork, and details.)

What we need: Prayers!!!! Prayers for clarity in which direction we should go
Prayers for finances to fund this adoption and prayers on the house front (our lease is up in February)

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

First meeting with an adoption agency

Jake and I went to our first adoption seminar on Saturday.
It was so great to be surrounded by people who are in the same boat as us!
 
Honestly I feel this meeting was more for Jake than myself.
I've done so much research over the last two weeks that lots of it was a repeat.
It was nice however to have a professional walk us through step by step through the process would go, the estimates of wait time and the estimates of price.
Which by the way...YIKES!!
$20-$40 THOUSAND DOLLARS!
 
One thing that was new to me was:
-the tax credit for adoption. Its almost $13,000! That is if its still offered by the time we adopt!
If we decided to go through with private adoption that could potentially cover almost all our adoption expenses!
 
And another EXCITING thing Is that my moms dear friend Jim (who is a family lawyer)
told me that he would do all the legal parts for free!! All we have to pay for is the filing fee, which is only about $250!
PRAISE THE LORD!
That's just one financial thing we can cross off our list!
 
 
What's next?
Now that we have the info on agency adoption we need to get info on how things would go if we decided to go private. We are having a phone conference tomorrow with Christian Adoption Consultants. After tomorrow we will continue to pray that God would guide us in the right direction.
 
-Until next time
-Ashley


Monday, October 28, 2013

Lets rewind a bit....

 Just to recap for those of you who don't follow my other blog, makingamomma I'm gonna do a little recap.

    Jake and I got married September 28,2012. Our plan since I can remember was to start a family as soon as we got married. On the night back in 2007, when I met Jake, one of the first things that jumped out at me about him was hearing him talking about having children one day.

   So after our beautiful wedding we were so excited with anticipation! We just knew that in a few months Id have the beginnings of a baby bump and that we would be in a whirlwind of baby showers, strollers, cloth diapers, maternity leggings and midnight cravings.

  In looking back there was a very small dark corner in my mind and heart that was a little scared that things wouldn't happen as quickly as I wanted. I had just had a feeling for years that Id struggle getting pregnant.

  The months before our wedding I noticed that my cycles were not "gracing" me with its presence every month. But I attributed it to non stop wedding planning on top of a new night shift job. And then they seemed to get more regular for about 5 months. I was pretty sure we were in the clear. And then BAM they just stopped.

   Finally after Aunt Flo was MIA for about 3 months I went to my OBGYN for some blood work. Well the news that came back were not what I wanted to hear. In talking with my Doctor the only words I could hear were "PREMATURE OVARIAN FAILURE...PRE-MENOPAUSE....INCREASED RISK OF OSTEOPOROSIS, HEART DISEASE...HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY...EGG DONOR"  It was the weirdest feeling because In sense I just wanted to cry. And on the other hand I felt like I had been expecting news like this.

   Fast forward a few months later and after tons of research online I ran across a blog of a Florida woman who was diagnosed with the same thing. She started a regimen of supplements, Chinese medicine, acupuncture and wheat grass smoothies (yuck, just in case you were wondering) and after 5 months she is pregnant with twins! So I jumped on that band wagon!

  Week in and week out I was taking 39 pills a day, wheat grass smoothies daily, Castor oil packs every other day and acupuncture every other week.

   All the while, I found myself saying a silent prayer daily. "Dear God, if having biological children is not your plan for Jake and I, PLEASE take this desire away from me." You see from as far back as I can remember, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was never a Doctor, or a teacher...it was always  a Mom. I felt and still feel like its my calling in life. So I prayed this prayer daily and slowly I felt myself being more open to the idea of Egg Donor.

  About three weeks ago my mother called me with a dream. In her dream it was just a simple snapshot of my husband and I. I was holding a toddling blond haired little boy who looked just like my husband. Jake was holding a 2 or 3 year old little Asian beauty. I thought to myself. "Huh. that's kinda cool" but kind of brushed it off. However I couldn't get that dream out of my head. I started thinking more and more about adoption. Should we? Could we? Could I love an adopted child like I would a biological child? What would my husband think?

  And then it seemed like overnight my heart was changed. God had answered my prayers and through that had shown me what his path was for Jake and I. Adoption.

 And that brings us to where we are now. Jake and I have decided to start our family through adoption. And we couldn't be more excited! We know that our child is out there somewhere and we cant wait to bring him or her home!!!!

Stay tuned,
Ashley